Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
