she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
