Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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