My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
