He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
