my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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