mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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