so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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