you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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