Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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