Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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