i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
