I wanna bring you to show and tell
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
