if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
