So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What a dumb baby whore.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize