My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
