Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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