and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
