how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
