There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
