hotel room ftw
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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