His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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