How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
