she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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