just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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