Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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