your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
