come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
