I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
