I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
