Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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