Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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