I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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