I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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