beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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