I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
