His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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