i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Never underestimate the power of titties
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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