We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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