Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize