You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you inspire me to be a worse person
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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