ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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