You're completely useless in the revolution.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
