I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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