Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize