So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
