I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
