Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
