so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
