I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Randomize
