Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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