in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
