just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
