therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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