Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh god the rape fog is back!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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