Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
